The Noises

Dodger’s brain activity is always switched on a part from the very short hours she is actually asleep. She is constantly making noises one way or another. This ranges from repetitive stimming of phrases (the way she hears them) from her films, singing and random sounds to very angry screams, interactions, tics, stimming, demands. From the moment she wakes up to when she manages to battle with her brain to drop off to sleep, then it starts all over again. Most of the time when she wakes, a barrage of angry noises and repetitive tics is the way it starts off, it is not very often that a happy young lady wakes and begins the day in a nice way.

Dodger is controlled by these outbursts, tics, stimming constantly, one second she can be very happy enjoying what she is doing at that time, to not a exaggeration, angry the next. To describe it in the best way I can, it is like living with a Schizophrenic/Bipolar. Constantly jumping from one emotion to another, it must be so tiring for her, feeling up and then down, possible negative thoughts, confusion within a second. Sometimes, you can hear that she is trying to fight it, which is heart breaking, because you can not help no matter what you do.

The Hitting

Dodger is a physical person, she can be gentle and show a loving caring side, but just like the noises, she can turn, and most of the time it is taken out on her Mum, Angela. This is because Angela being the “Captain of the Boat”, has always been the initial front line. Of course we do not know how much understanding Dodger has, but when she does calm down, on some rare occasions she does say things like “What happened”, “I am so sorry”. This proves that she is driven by whatever is going on in her head, our lovely daughter of ours, is controlled by the Autism.

Also with the hitting, there is banging of doors off walls, punches and slaps on walls, cupboards, her giant perspex mirror I made for her, and also her belongings. When she was younger, her belongings took a lot of her anger. One year we had to replace 3 televisions because she had smashed the screens, and an iPad. Thankfully, she tries to control herself away from these items but a few shots do get through every now and then, but this does mean her Mum suffers. The rapping of the remote controls on her cupboard & dvd player, is a ever present one. These are bought in lots of 5 from Aliexpress to make sure we hopefully never run out.

I will stop there because I know when Angela reads this, she will go into lioness mode. No matter how bad it gets in this home of ours, Angela will never talk about her little daughter in a negative way, she feels in doing so is a betrayal to Dodger and our small family unit.

Through the day

Dodger takes ages to do a lot of things. Whether that is getting dressed, going out the house, having a shower, eating her food and other activities (even if they are exciting things that Dodger wants to do).

This is the usual scene in a day. Angela approaches Dodger at some point in the day, and says “you need to get dressed Dodger, I will be back in 5 minutes”. This is always met with moaning, possibly a confrontation but most of the time a chorus of some kind of defiance. There is always a battle when dressing her every day, no matter how it has being approached. Dodger moans and complains about everything and anything. You are never far away from an all out face off.

Going Out

There is no word(s) that I know of that can describe Dodger getting ready to go out. She has a whole routine for this, which includes, visiting the toilet 2-3 times, taking 3-4 pictures (this also involves 20 pictures of the same position just along side the initial picture), then printing them off individually with about 5-10 minutes in-between each one. Then more watching of the television, a bit of moaning, putting on her runners and then probably another couple of pictures. This can take up to about a hour where Angela or I are actually waiting at the front door for her to go. If we move away from the front door, some times this will trigger Dodger to start over.

Showering

Dodger has a shower every evening, it is part of her routine, thanks to her Mum happens no matter what. Her routine is very important, if something goes wrong/can’t be done, the routine is effected massively.

This all takes from beginning to end between 1 to 1½ hours, yes, the shower is on for most of that time, electric meter ticking away making sure British Gas can make those huge profits.

(I will not go into details here but needless to say, there is an essential routine carried out).

Toileting

Dodger needs assistance with her toileting, which includes her monthly lady routines

We both do this, and it feels that we are never away from the bathroom sometimes, Not only is this used for normal functions, Dodger uses this as a part of her routine, of course she is still wiped whether she has done something or not.

Feeding

Dodger has a good relationship with food, unlike some Autistic people we know, she trusts what Angela and I cook for her (I cook the meat), no excessive eating at all. She has breakfast (2 slices of toast), Lunch (a sandwich and fruit), Dinner, most of the time it is meat with either potatoes or pasta. Dodger  unfortunately does not like  vegetables, but she loves fruit though, and has 1-2 different fruit everyday. She eats what she can stab with the fork, so we cut things up into manageable pieces for her.

Dodger drinks a nice amount of just water (purified only) every day. She consumes between 2-3 litres a day.

Good Luck

Matthew